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April 6, 2006 / 43 Comments

Sex and the City

Sex And the City is finally over. The second rerun, that is. Inasmuch I ridicule some of the aspects of this series, I am quite hooked on to it, I have to confess. In a strange way, I get my kicks watching how these 30-40-something women pick on some random incidents in their life and make them HUGE. I really wonder if there exist any women like these. Even die-hard New Yorkers have other priorities in life, I bet. Of all the characters, Charlotte York seems the most genuine to me. As for the others, they are all so uptight! It is quite paradoxical that these supposedly free and liberated women are so bound. Bound to their own ideas and limitations on what constitutes a good relationship, a suitable partner, great date, etc. Certainly, everyone is entitled to their own opinions but from the outside, these women appear to lead such glossy lifestyles… I wonder if they don’t delude the rest of the country into believing that that IS life. Firstly, there seems to be utter self-centeredness in their thinking, atleast most of them. My date, my job, my love, me, me, me… I believe half their issues would be resolved if they peek outside the windows of their Manhattan apartments and take a look outside… The world is larger than Manhattan, sorry to say. For that matter, New York is a lot larger than Manhattan. I am a loyal Bombayite myself but I am frequently reminded of how Bombay is NOT India, as much as I’d like to believe the contrary.

What really irks me about SATC is, the amount of hangups these ladies have. By all means, remain young forever. Youth is a fabulous flavour of the mind, not necesarily the body. The key is in staying young and child-like, not childish. Also, being child-like and young means, to be accepting, to be free, to be non-judgmental.

However, the series has ended well. Charlotte accepts her childlessness and proceeds to give of her love to others. Miranda finally discovers true love with Steve and in my opinion, it alters her entire perception of what love is and how it is to be shared. She finds it within her to even accept Steve’s Mom. Samantha acknowledges her own feelings for Smith and is touched to realise how much he cares for her. As for Carrie, a long and winding path leds her to her truest and oldest love, Mr.Big himself.

I think that love is liberating, freeing. It makes you a better person, more caring, more giving. Anything that locks you into some kind of a shell, that restrains your expression and makes you more closed – how can that be love? When you love someone, you realise how expansive, how forgiving, how completely accepting you become. The truest love is unconditional and no matter how many times it comes up against odds, it finds it within to forgive and love again. Each one of us has experienced this beautiful emotion. For one who has been loved by one’s parents, it is not difficult to know what unconditional love means. Imagine if this feeling could be shared with the entire Universe. What a different world we would be living in… Repeating George Harrison’s words, made famous by ISKCON, ‘All you need is love, Hari Bol…‘

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  1. parag says:

    Firstly, there seems to be utter self-centeredness in their thinking, atleast most of them. My date, my job, my love, me, me, me…

    That is the definition of the word, “American”. That is the essence of all those characters. If they change that then there will be no show.

    BTW, Miranda is my favorite one. Which one is yours? IMO, Carrie is just annoying.

    April 6, 2006 — 10:10 am

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  2. nithya says:

    i somehow think that in this country they sort of overrate the whole thing about love and commitment…

    April 6, 2006 — 10:28 am

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  3. luv_serendipity says:

    First, SATC writers sit with a group of single 30-40-something women who talk about incidents in their lives or their friends’ lives and these are made into shows (YES, I am a huge fan and I know everything). Obviously, they seem exaggerated because the show is a comedy in so many ways that makes small problems huge and talk about them and after all it is television, isn’t everything exaggerated? Is the rest of the country like that? No, not Texas atleast. And don’t all women obsess. I mean only some of us admit it but there are many things that happen in our lives and we just think a lot about it. I think the older you get the more hang-ups you have and you tend to get jaded. The more successful you expect from other people and stupid people just start getting on your nerves.
    I think the key is to think about these women in an American perspective and not an Indian. WE always have our families (relatives, etc) to depend on. Most of these women don’t. They leave homes at an early age for college and never really go back. They never form any relationships with their families so they have to depend on themselves that is why it is all ” me me me ” because they have no one else and part of them is probably scared to depend on anybody. If you have been alone for so long it is so hard to share your space.
    Ok sorry for the long reply, it is really all ‘s fault. He showed me this entry. 🙂

    April 6, 2006 — 1:46 pm

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    • Comment by post author

      Lakshmi says:

      They never form any relationships with their families so they have to depend on themselves that is why it is all ” me me me ” because they have no one else and part of them is probably scared to depend on anybody.

      That’s not entirely true. In the South, there are many people who believe in the family connection and stay close all their life. In any case, I understand your viewpoint…:-)

      April 6, 2006 — 1:51 pm

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      • luv_serendipity says:

        Ya, like said Texas is not New York and American family relationhips are much different than India family relationships. I really don’t have to call my parents/relatives up to meet them in a restaurant, I can just go to their house uncalled and uninformed and I don’t think that happens much in America (like the majority). I am not going to become 40 years old and start calling my mother by her name and that happens here a lot, even in the south. The relationships are too formal in most cases.

        April 6, 2006 — 1:58 pm

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        • Comment by post author

          Lakshmi says:

          This topic is totally deserving of another blog but what I think is, they have done away with so many natural attitudes and ways of life. Enforcing silly barriers in the name of privacy and individual space has resulted in this kind of *isolated in a crowd* syndrome. When you experience such reserve towards even your own siblings as you grow older, what purpose did that separate room/car serve?

          Sometimes I think, America is rightfully called the land of plenty but it is definitely not the land of abundance.

          April 6, 2006 — 2:02 pm

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          • ruchikapoor says:

            Disclaimer: Thsi comment is nothing but generalizations.

            God, only I know how I’ve been itching to have this conversation with someone!
            Okay, disclaimer #2: I do believe all generalizations exist for a reason. It’s like the probability theory.

            I think the whole “privacy” funda is something people here use to shield themselves from that which they cannot deal with. Don’t know how to deal with an issue? Throw that in the “privacy and space” closet. And I might get flamed for this, but people here (in general) are SO resistant to change. The slightest change in routine and they need to plan months in advance. The smallest thing done differently and it ruins their day. I remember watching Runaway Bride when I was in India and thinking “Why are they making such a big deal about HOW they like their eggs done? I would just ask someone WHETHER they liked eggs or not….if you like eggs, you should be at least OKAY with them being cooked in a different way.”

            April 6, 2006 — 2:23 pm

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    • freegeek says:

      Yeah I had nothing to contribute. I just used to watch Full House 🙂

      April 6, 2006 — 2:01 pm

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  4. manfrommumbai says:

    Hi,here via Splitpea’s blog.I thought I’d put in my 2 cents. As an advertising student, I sometimes see the show purely from an outsider’s perspective. How the show has influenced pop culture and influenced fashion trends among trendy/wannabe women.It’s quite amusing and sad,and also marks testimony to the fact that American media content is so intrusive.Without realizing it, we follow trends we picked up from somewhere on the tube.Such shows(The OC,SATC,Laguna Beach)have brought with them a whole new genre of sublimal marketing and cross-promotions.It’s a whole new animal.Personally,as a male with considerably good taste in women, I really wouldn’t want to be caught dead with such people!

    April 6, 2006 — 4:34 pm

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    • Comment by post author

      Lakshmi says:

      How the show has influenced pop culture and influenced fashion trends among trendy/wannabe women.

      I don’t think trendy women could get influenced by such shows. Probably they are the ones that influence the scriptwriters!

      It’s quite amusing and sad,and also marks testimony to the fact that American media content is so intrusive.

      Sad to say, the Indian media is turning out to be the same animal and in a few years, all our comments will be applicable to India as well, I think.

      Brings a whole new spin to ‘Art imitates Life’ or ‘Life imitates Art’. But that deserves a whole new blog!

      Thanks for dropping by!

      April 7, 2006 — 6:00 am

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  5. shortiyergirl says:

    I only recently started watching this series and I felt as if all my thoughts were put in words when I read this. 🙂

    I don’t understand how Charlotte even fits in with this crowd. She seems the kind who would have gotten married and settled down way way before she does….

    April 6, 2006 — 11:22 pm

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    • Comment by post author

      Lakshmi says:

      I know what you mean about Charlotte. She seems to have such a different take on life and yet she is so accepting of her pals and their pet peeves…:-)

      April 7, 2006 — 6:01 am

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      • deelight says:

        Charlotte really is the odd one out and yet you marvel at her keeping her sanity despite the madness around her. I agree with Parag that she can come across a bit of a prude but then again she also seems most sensible in the conventional sense.

        April 7, 2006 — 8:25 am

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  6. jonquille_s says:

    very well written….a nice read….and u echo my thoughts on the same(even though I used to watch the show regularly)

    April 7, 2006 — 3:08 am

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  7. latelyontime says:

    Charlotte has also been my favourite character in Sex and the City…but largely because she was the only one who was hopeful, eternal, romantic and pragmatic at the same time. However, to think that she was selfless or above the my date, my job, my love, me, me, syndrome would be, for me, an unrealistic assessment of her character.

    April 9, 2006 — 10:46 am

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  8. mrsgollum says:

    nice post..
    havent watched much of SATC although glimpses of the series did make me feel that the central characters were way too choosy,way too idealistic and probably way too self-centred to look beyond themselves. However there is a bit of a balance involved in every relationship in my opinion – that of finding peace in being an individual in your own right – and at the same time enjoying in giving,sharing and living your life with someone who also is an individual in their own right. It takes a while to reach this state of mind in a relationship, but the ones that last long are probably the ones which have humans with something close to this state of mind.

    The truest love is unconditional and no matter how many times it comes up against odds, it finds it within to forgive and love again. Each one of us has experienced this beautiful emotion. For one who has been loved by one’s parents, it is not difficult to know what unconditional love means. Imagine if this feeling could be shared with the entire Universe. What a different world we would be living in.

    unconditional love is totally possible and it does happen with those select few people in our lives. On a realistic plane, it is quite difficult to practice it with anyone and everyone in the world – because it means empathising and stepping into every person’s shoes. Not impossible but the if you were to make everyone and anyone in the world your own and practice unconditional love to them, your closest few – parents,spouse,kids – might realize they are just one among the millions you choose to give your love to. On an egoistic plane, this is quite unacceptable to a mortal or ‘normal’ human as I would call.

    By default we are all made to give and expect something in return and be loved and love – and that too as someone special. If at all we end up universal beings, we might be faced witht he difficult task of viewing our loved ones on the same plane as the rest of the world, which is probably how the Buddhas and other saints of the world evolved.

    Apologies for the long comment..just thoughts as usual:)

    April 12, 2006 — 3:30 am

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    • Comment by post author

      Lakshmi says:

      On a realistic plane, it is quite difficult to practice it with anyone and everyone in the world – because it means empathising and stepping into every person’s shoes.

      Somehow I don’t think one can practise it because it’s difficult, like you said. I believe that it just happens..:-) Sounds silly?

      Apologies for the long comment..just thoughts as usual:)

      What took you so long to comment…is my response to that one..:-)

      April 12, 2006 — 1:39 pm

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