The Rich Vegetarian

Simply Being | Simple Being

Tag: authenticity (page 1 of 5)

July 24, 2024 / 0 Comments

rules of engagement

I was watching a TV series today that reminded me of a freelance work project I had taken on years ago… The man-woman dynamic in this series didn’t end well, and neither did that particular project. And I wonder if it had to do with the way we (I, man, woman) embarked on the project/relationship.

Said woman was in love (or she thought was) with the man who was pining for someone else. The relationship began on a mild note, primarily fueled by the woman’s ardor, and even as she knew that the man was unsure and questioning, she was confident that she could make it work… with a little help from him. She felt that her love could make up for his doubt and tentativeness. She thought she could put in 150%, and that would make up for his 25-50%. And he thought that he could give it a try. But things didn’t go the way she’d hoped, and she saw clearly that it would always remain a half-hearted attempt at a relationship.

Years ago I signed up for a pro bono writing project. The client was a nonprofit organization that needed some help with website and social media content. I thought, this is easy for me—so, why not? And I started writing for them but something didn’t click. I received a lot of feedback, and I incorporated it… but the people in charge weren’t happy. Things kept dragging, and ultimately, I offered my apologies and bowed out of the situation.

I kept wondering, why didn’t it work? Why wasn’t I able to provide satisfactory content? It was easy-peasy! I wasn’t writing an essay or even a blogpost.

I think… perhaps, I didn’t enter this engagement the correct way. Yes, there was a real need, and I was asked to provide my expertise. I signed up thinking it could be an easy way for me to be of assistance but I forgot to factor myself into this equation. Of course, all the work I have done for the Art of Living in previous years was pro bono as well but I was fully aware that I was engaging entirely for myself and on my own terms. At no point did I think that I was doing anyone a favor. But here… I think I wrote myself out of the whole deal, then wondered why it all went south.

I suppose this is true for work as it is for love. You don’t embark on it to do anyone a favor, and you do not begin from a place of compromise—you do it entirely and wholly and fully for yourself.

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August 2, 2022 / 0 Comments

tone of voice

There are compliments, and there is this.

“I just wanted to say that I really like your approach/way of giving feedback during design reviews.

The way you present your thoughts and the tone of voice you use to do so really puts me in a state of mind where I see things and new ideas come up 🙂

Somehow it feels very collaborative.”

“Tone of voice” is an interesting thing. What our voice actually conveys to others is a mystery, no? Because it has little to do with the content of our speech and everything to do with the sound of it.

I was ruminating some weeks earlier about our “voiceprint” and its uniqueness, and how we respond to “voiceprints” at a subconscious level. I have an acquaintance whose voice feels rather loud (even at a low decibel level), and it sets off an “Ohhhh” response in me. Then there are friends whose voices are pure warmth and honey—so relaxing and comforting even when they are speaking of mundane matters. There are some people whose voices make me feel that they are on the verge of tears all the time.

I don’t always know how I sound unless I record myself, of course… and I don’t do that a lot. Over the years my voice has changed, maybe? I am not sure. I used to think I sound like an excited teenager but these days I think I sound like an enthusiastic young woman.

All very interesting and mysterious, I think. (For Human Design enthusiasts, I have an undefined throat.)

And if you are wondering how I sound, there are a bunch of videos on this site under the Videos tab.

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July 6, 2022 / 0 Comments

And that’s why

Recently I found myself saying, “…and that’s why I Ieft that class.” Next instant I wondered, is that true? Is that truly why I left? Could I ever say with complete certainty that THAT is the reason?

No, not really. All I can say with certainty is that I stopped going to the class. As for the reason why (assuming there is one), I cannot really say what that is.

I will be the first to admit that I am not what you’d call a reasonable person. Not that I am unreasonable but I hardly ever use reason to decide on a course of action. Perhaps I employ reason to plan a course of action but even that’s largely suspect, truth be told. And I know that this kind of “unreasonable” behavior is sometimes aggravating to my loved ones. (Not my parents, I think… I suspect they are of similar orientation.)

I found this scrawled in an old notebook. “What is ‘too soon’ or ‘too late?’ Who is to know? Our perspective of time is so limited—we can never comment on whether an event happened before or after time. All we can be sure of is that happened when it had to.”

Now, the rumination above pertains to the timing of events but I can see that it applies to their cause, too. Truly, we can never know the why. Yes, we are highly skilled at constructing the why, and we have elevated that skill to a science. Yet I wonder if we may be better served by dumping all construction and reconstruction efforts, by being “unreasonable,” by being with what is, sans reason or explanation or justification… not to anyone else, not to our own self.

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June 6, 2020 / 0 Comments

Corona Notes: Privilege

These are the days when we speak and hear a lot about privilege. How privileged we are that we may work from home, that we can afford to maintain social distancing, perhaps even forego income temporarily, and so on.

I feel rather awkward around these conversations.

For one, I can never presume to know what another is experiencing… Just like no one can truly know or understand what I am experiencing. This is because our experience is wholly internal/invisible; it isn’t something the world can see, let alone comment on.

Does someone feel an acute lack of privilege? Who am I to be a judge of that? Now, I can use my limited experience and unlimited imagination to craft a story of need, privilege, comfort, scarcity. We do this all our lives, and we get really good at it. Sometimes we term it as “empathy.”

All I can do is be present, and trust fully in the action that emerges. Rest is endless conversation and storytelling, either to myself and/or to the world.

(Posted on Instagram, Feb 12: I am now beginning to understand the difference between activity and action. It’s all Osho’s wisdom, really… slowly integrating, assimilating. Activity is relentless, ceaseless, endless… and it results in exactly zero outcomes. In fact, it is its own outcome. Action is something altogether and entirely different. It is quick, swift, decisive. Even if a particular action looks like it may be the outcome of much thinking/weighing/analyzing/measuring, the truth is that it is an independent entity, more governed by the moment, the space of that moment.

In fact, activity builds on itself ad infinitum but action has its own momentum, and it dies instantly… whereas activity endlessly perpetuates itself, generating stories and narratives.)

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