Does “slippery” have to do with slippers? (Suddenly “slippers” feels like a weird word. Why did I just notice the “weird word” alliteration?) This is what off the cuff writing reads like… I suppose. I don’t do much of this kind of writing any more because all of it—the writing—is for an audience. (As if this one isn’t, bah!) But there’s a truckload of digression in this kind of writing, and that’s what has happened here as well. I logged in to write about… what? The slippery nature of awareness, I think. Look away, and you are lost. “Lost in thought” is a good metaphor, now that I think about it. But now I have clear forgotten what I was meaning to write about… primarily, I think I miss writing. Writing on social media brings attention (=oxygen), and while I don’t deny its allure, it’s also somewhat stymying. You end up keeping the “audience” in mind, and here I am somewhat freed of that. Who am I kidding? (Shouldn’t it be “whom?”)

I read a piece by Osho yesterday where he dismissed all systems that purported to explain the nature of reality. For a long while I was “steady” and established in my so-called system but then I was seduced by other systems that appeared more sophisticated. I suddenly felt that my own “homegrown” method was terribly naive. Anyhow, all roads lead to Rome, and it occurs to me that I have spent a good chunk of time trying seriously to “make sense of,” even as I have half-known that THAT is the first thing to be ditched. And I have likely written about this utterly fruitless endeavor so many times… and yet I have forgotten. Forgetfulness is the nature of the illusion, perhaps? I remember a line from Gurudev – the Self is attained by recognition.

All this to say that there is no method, DARN… except to be aware of one’s experience as it plays out. Ahh, that is what I came here to write about, now I remember! And this simple (not easy?) process of “being aware” requires energy, prAna. It’s the easiest thing to lapse into thought, imagination, nostalgia, dreams because being aware is not always fun, or enjoyable, or entertaining.

A few months ago, a dear friend recounted to me her experience of meeting an elderly female relative. This woman (let’s call her Sunita) was a distant aunt, and my friend had met her a couple of times at family gatherings. My friend had noted that Sunita didn’t speak much but she had a smiling countenance, and she was constantly busy—cooking, serving, attending to everyone’s needs, etc. She had a basic education but she’d never worked a job or had a career. She took care of the home and family, and that was her full-time role.

One day, Sunita visited my friend, and they got chatting. Sunita shared that she’d been diagnosed with some health issues years ago, and the doctors were befuddled. Apparently, surgery was the only recourse, and she wasn’t liking the idea much. On a whim, she began waking up at 4am each morning, and sitting in meditation. No, she didn’t have a technique—all she did was sit in silence for an hour or longer. And she did this, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.

And Life began opening itself up to her. You can take this to mean whatever you like… In her own words, she had some incredible experiences, and she remarked to my friend in Hindi, “You do know that you are God, don’t you?”

My friend was blown. She had been on this so-called spiritual search for years herself—trying to find a purpose to her own life, uncover the true meaning of her existence, and so on. She had been devouring books and lectures and workshops and podcasts, and while many questions were getting answered, new ones were emerging. And here was this woman who had no special language to describe her experience, knew no esoteric terms or terminologies, and yet there was no mistaking her inner clarity and steadiness.

As she said, “I have no more fear, not of death or anything else.” (I am paraphrasing here.)

Now, her health issues improved a little but they didn’t magically disappear overnight. Her life continued as before—cooking, serving, cleaning, managing a home and family. Remember that Buddhist adage? “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

Words create the world. As someone who has felicity with words/content, I have created worlds and imaginary universes, and I have drawn people to them. If words can create the world, surely they can destroy it as well… And yet there are very few words that can effectively end the world as we know it. And there is not a training or a book or a workshop that can tell you how.

I imagine Sunita in the grand play of Life, playing her part flawlessly, never having rehearsed a line or a scene… while I, with all my reading and writing, remain an amateur, albeit hopeful, actor. (No, I don’t feel hopeless at all but entirely hopeful that the Truth of Oneness is, indeed, free and available to all! It’s a gift that arrives in perfect timing, so one simply needs to be happy and continue on with chopping wood and carrying water.)