I recall… Mummy or somebody else.. Most of the illnesses are a figment of our own imagination… Mummy is someone who, I feel, tends to be so completely sober… So totally focussed and who doesn’t get drawn into any emotional tangles… Hey, she’s over 50 and she’s my mother… Maybe she was just like this 25 years back or maybe she never revealed it to me, her internal struggles… Nevertheless, I hope that she doesn’t have to face those issues, if she ever did.. and I hope that she never has to feel low or blue or sad….Dear Mummy… she is the bestest thing that I could have had… Apart from Dad, of course… She is my first blessing or maybe Daddy is…. Chuck the fact that they were never the kinds to praise us to heavens or smother us with kisses and hugs… Well, Geetu also feels that she lost out on building her self-esteem… Lets’ face it, they are the most realistic people… They let us make our own choices right from our kiddie days… Never enforced their choices on us, be it studies, friends, clothes, tastes… And I am so thankful for that.. That today, I am proud of my choices, my tastes.. and I give a lot of credibility to them. Since my choices have been respected by my family, there’s nobody who I’d allow to denigrate my choices. Now that’s something I can probably take pride in…
Not to take myself seriously…. Is that so bloody simple?
Right now, I feel like I’ve been cut down to fit into this role of housewife… or more sweetly termed as homemaker… Well, at one point, I was grateful and craved for this hiatus.. Those crazy days at work! Right now, I feel like my world is shrinking… The world within my head is blowing out, expanding…. But my external world is growing smaller…. Unintentionally, I’ve started to feel like a housewife… limited by the walls of this house.. Chuck the histrionics!
What I feel is…. so many chores I end up doing… for me, for my husband… Make me feel more and more like these are mine to do… and not for us to share!
Ironing, washing, scrubbing, cleaning blah blah blah….
Well, I ain’t working and so this falls within my list of activities… Hey, this is just what I hate.. Just because I am NOT employed, does that mean that I am supposed to do ALL the household chores? Loser, even when you’re employed, you’re going to do them… so that’s EOA.
Anonymous says:
Hey!
Hi! This is Ashwin… Nachi’s friend… We travelled together to B’lore for the Floyd show… Got your link from Nachi’s page… Good to catch up with your life after all this time… Congtaulations on getting hitched up…
Was planning on asking Nachi to sign me up too for the blog… Will take heart from you… But feel that I’ll have the same problem you brought up… Postured prose… No free flow… Annapurna… 😉
January 29, 2004 — 6:15 am
Lakshmi says:
I definitely rememeber who you are, Ashwin.. Great to hear from you.. Howz married life? But you’ve been married for nearly a year, right?
Free flow… am getting there, I like to believe..:)
January 29, 2004 — 6:20 am
Anonymous says:
Nah! Been married just about 7 months… Frankly hasn’t really sunk in… Still stay with my mom in Mulund… Ravina (my wife) works late hours and we end up catching up only on weekends… 🙁 😉
How about you? Whereabouts are you nowadays… Still in Mumbai… Remember Nachi talking about meeting you the last time he was here…
Pass on my regards to Geethu and her friends… Any of you guys going for the Tull-Chaurasia show…??
Cheerio..
Ash…
January 29, 2004 — 8:57 pm
Lakshmi says:
Ashwin… Sorry to say, I am no longer in Bombay. My better half works in Atlanta and now that’s where I am. Arrived here on Christmas Day… Still sorting out the different sensations, if I may put it that way…:)
I didn’t know of any Tull-Chaurasia show and sorely wish that you hadn’t told me either….:(
Are you going? Should be interesting…
Where does Ravina work?
Have you started blogging?
January 30, 2004 — 5:16 am
Lakshmi says:
SFO… whazzat?
February 2, 2004 — 6:11 am