While talking to Amita yesterday, we discussed about how the sense of leaving your home while marriage is so strong. Elaboration: After marriage, presently, I am living in neither Pinchoo’s home nor mine. We’re living in a separate house away from both our parents. Yet, I feel as if Pinch’s family has gained an extra member and mine has lost one. Why can’t my family gain one and Pinch’s family lose one? Better still, why can’t each family lose one each?
Maybe it’s a throwback to the old Indian tradition of bidding your daughter goodbye when she gets married and goes to her ‘sasuraal’ (Is there a word for it in English?). I hate that feeling; plain detest it.
Another film this noon ‘The Perfect You’… Feel as if the titles of most films I’ve seen in the recent past have NOTHING to do with the content. A somewhat romantic comedy.. . Janie(?) McCarthy and another chap… Loved the camera filter used. Can’t recall any other film with a similar look. I also loved the look of ‘Great Expectations’ although it was different.
Another good day…
Why do I feel as if I should read Joyce? It’s bally uninteresting yet I feel compelled to read it. All that ‘great author’ brouhaha.. . Pinch is gonna have a blast hearing this. Another couple of chapters.. If it’s an effort, I am gonna chuck him OUT!
rileen says:
Better still, why can’t each family lose one each?
Eh? I would’ve thought it best that each family gained one each?
Throwback apart, it’s still common for girls to adopt their husband’s family name – tells you something, doesn’t it?
But it’s nice that nowadays many girls are also retaining their maiden name.
March 11, 2004 — 1:15 pm
Lakshmi says:
It isn’t solely about the name, Rileen… In fact, not at all.
I mean, the bride’s family cries at the idea that their daughter is leaving them; the groom’s family barely cries.
Even if both the bride and groom are leaving for an altogether third location, the sense of separation from the family is strong in case of the bride and ABSENT in case of the groom!
March 12, 2004 — 5:35 am
rileen says:
See, the crying bit in the first case is related to the ceremony itself in countries like India, where the daughter is ‘given away’ etc etc – so what does the groom’s family have to cry about?
Wrt the location thing, i think it’s wrong to say the same about the family – it’s more a case of girls crying more often than guys.
Come on -the mother, sister etc of a guy cry as well when he moves to some far off place.
March 12, 2004 — 5:42 am
Lakshmi says:
I agree that it’s about the ceremony.. The giving away of the daughter feeling… Why???
I refuse to be given away… have already been..:-))
March 12, 2004 — 5:54 am
rileen says:
One of the many things about our patriarchal society that just don’t ‘feel right’, and shall hopefully go away with time.
March 12, 2004 — 6:02 am
trycatchdenz says:
Is it not more like each family gaining one member due to the marriage?
I know of a very close friend [guess you know her too] who has retained her maiden name post marriage.
Cheerz,
Denz
March 12, 2004 — 2:34 am
Lakshmi says:
Whom are you talking about, Denzzi?
March 12, 2004 — 5:35 am