I completely agree with her. The people in this article are bunch of whiners who will never be happy anywhere in the world. They had put themselves in the situation that they are moaning about. If they don’t like their lives, they should take some steps to make it better than just to blame their surroundings or family members or anyone they can think of.
I don’t agree with Shanti. Sounds like a classic case of a knee-jerk reaction to me.
Unfortunately, too much of webspace has been lost in arguing over this delicate issue.
The case rests…
I do think that the article showed a very one sided view of living in the US. But it does reflect some of the things which are sad. I however cant find myself to react as strongly as Shanti. In the hind sight it is very easy to say “Oh but it was your decision”. There is only so much you can extrapolate based on facts. Living in a place is an experience and it cannot be felt in advance based on raw facts. If someone feels as if there is loss of freedom, then there might be some credence in what one feels. Agreed whining is not the best response but closing the issue by saying “It was your decision, now live with it or go back!” is not a solution. Understanding the pros and cons and taking steps to transcend the downsides is what needs to be focused.
I think it’s a matter of adjusting to change, to culture shock. Whether it be the US, or another nation, one’s obligated to choose between ambition and family. It’s like – how many times one’s taken a cold shower… the more you do, the more you get used to it.
It’d be sad if they didn’t get out of the rut and stayed at one phase (as per erikson’s theory)
It’s very one-sided… i agree with sat_chit_anand. A better writer would have showed both sides of the story – ppl who’re trying to cope, and ppl who’ve coped – & what helped them do so.
Was reading it at home couple of weeks back and thought – they definitely need good editors.
That it is… I agree. But the article aims to talk about the *sadder* side of the issue, or so I think! It never meant to explore the entire idea of living in America. I think it expects the readers to take that fact for granted…
Chechi, I feel like you’ve sent this article specifically with me in mind…considering my present yearning to get away from India !!! Guess, the grass is alwayz greener on the other side….
No, yaar.. I didn’t even think of you while posting this piece. It’s just another snapshot of life here, which is no less truer than any other perspective…
DD, the ‘perpetual whiner’ term is unfair, don’t you think? I’ve been there too, whined, cried, kicked.. and all that. I agree with your take that it’s what one does with the situation that can make it better or worse. But life deals different sets to each one of us.. and no one has the right to speak for someone else with such an utter lack of empathy and sensitivity. Btw, I am referring to *the Shanti reaction*.
DD, you managed to tide over, hats off to you… I am still trying! Tell me, what good does it do to sit in patronising judgement about someone else? Patience and sensitivity is never in excess… What’s with the disparaging attitude?
And you’d know more than anyone else that all the factors you’ve listed can drive a person insane.
Sorry to butt into your conversation. But, I couldn’t agree with you more. By treating problems as opportunities and a positive ‘can-do’ attitude can make you overcome any problems. As you have shown by your own example all the problems that you list are challenging but surmountable if one is ready to accept a change in life and deal with it.
life deals different sets to each one of us It is true, but, we are not talking about a life-threatening uncurable illness here. This condition that they are facing is completely avoidable if they realised their limitations before jumping on the opportunity to come to USA.
This Aparna lady was probably complaining about India when she was there and wanted to get out of the country asap. Didn’t she take part in the decision to come to US considering she is so independent and smart? Now, she is complaining about how her life that she herself chose sucks. All the other examples describe problems that are similar whines than real problems.
parag says:
Shanti blogged about this article sometime last week. Here is a link to her post…
http://www.madhoo.com/archives/003116.php#003116
I completely agree with her. The people in this article are bunch of whiners who will never be happy anywhere in the world. They had put themselves in the situation that they are moaning about. If they don’t like their lives, they should take some steps to make it better than just to blame their surroundings or family members or anyone they can think of.
August 23, 2004 — 6:53 am
Lakshmi says:
I don’t agree with Shanti. Sounds like a classic case of a knee-jerk reaction to me.
Unfortunately, too much of webspace has been lost in arguing over this delicate issue.
The case rests…
August 23, 2004 — 7:04 am
sat_chit_anand says:
I do think that the article showed a very one sided view of living in the US. But it does reflect some of the things which are sad. I however cant find myself to react as strongly as Shanti. In the hind sight it is very easy to say “Oh but it was your decision”. There is only so much you can extrapolate based on facts. Living in a place is an experience and it cannot be felt in advance based on raw facts. If someone feels as if there is loss of freedom, then there might be some credence in what one feels. Agreed whining is not the best response but closing the issue by saying “It was your decision, now live with it or go back!” is not a solution. Understanding the pros and cons and taking steps to transcend the downsides is what needs to be focused.
August 23, 2004 — 7:16 am
Lakshmi says:
Precisely… you put it so much better..:-)
August 23, 2004 — 7:32 am
arunshanbhag says:
After a long time, atleast someone has come forward to highlight that all does not glitter in the US of A.
Timely!
August 23, 2004 — 8:58 am
99kanitas says:
I think it’s a matter of adjusting to change, to culture shock. Whether it be the US, or another nation, one’s obligated to choose between ambition and family. It’s like – how many times one’s taken a cold shower… the more you do, the more you get used to it.
It’d be sad if they didn’t get out of the rut and stayed at one phase (as per erikson’s theory)
It’s very one-sided… i agree with sat_chit_anand. A better writer would have showed both sides of the story – ppl who’re trying to cope, and ppl who’ve coped – & what helped them do so.
Was reading it at home couple of weeks back and thought – they definitely need good editors.
August 23, 2004 — 10:16 am
Lakshmi says:
That it is… I agree. But the article aims to talk about the *sadder* side of the issue, or so I think! It never meant to explore the entire idea of living in America. I think it expects the readers to take that fact for granted…
August 23, 2004 — 10:18 am
Anonymous says:
Chechi, I feel like you’ve sent this article specifically with me in mind…considering my present yearning to get away from India !!! Guess, the grass is alwayz greener on the other side….
Geetu..
August 23, 2004 — 10:34 am
Lakshmi says:
No, yaar.. I didn’t even think of you while posting this piece. It’s just another snapshot of life here, which is no less truer than any other perspective…
August 23, 2004 — 10:56 am
Lakshmi says:
DD, the ‘perpetual whiner’ term is unfair, don’t you think? I’ve been there too, whined, cried, kicked.. and all that. I agree with your take that it’s what one does with the situation that can make it better or worse. But life deals different sets to each one of us.. and no one has the right to speak for someone else with such an utter lack of empathy and sensitivity. Btw, I am referring to *the Shanti reaction*.
August 23, 2004 — 3:14 pm
Lakshmi says:
DD, you managed to tide over, hats off to you… I am still trying! Tell me, what good does it do to sit in patronising judgement about someone else? Patience and sensitivity is never in excess… What’s with the disparaging attitude?
And you’d know more than anyone else that all the factors you’ve listed can drive a person insane.
August 23, 2004 — 3:47 pm
Lakshmi says:
but this country provides the best atmosphere for a human being to adapt,anywhere in the world, have to give them that.
I agree… completely.
August 23, 2004 — 3:48 pm
Lakshmi says:
Thanks for replying, Chechi… You’re quite a sweetheart..:-)
Btw, I have glowing examples all around me, yourself included!
August 24, 2004 — 5:49 am
parag says:
Sorry to butt into your conversation. But, I couldn’t agree with you more. By treating problems as opportunities and a positive ‘can-do’ attitude can make you overcome any problems. As you have shown by your own example all the problems that you list are challenging but surmountable if one is ready to accept a change in life and deal with it.
life deals different sets to each one of us It is true, but, we are not talking about a life-threatening uncurable illness here. This condition that they are facing is completely avoidable if they realised their limitations before jumping on the opportunity to come to USA.
This Aparna lady was probably complaining about India when she was there and wanted to get out of the country asap. Didn’t she take part in the decision to come to US considering she is so independent and smart? Now, she is complaining about how her life that she herself chose sucks. All the other examples describe problems that are similar whines than real problems.
August 23, 2004 — 8:04 pm