Thanks, 2005!

It’s that time of the year again. People are going to start drawing up lists of ‘Top 10’ this and that. I can hardly believe that it was a year ago that I read this post written by Shiv. Can scarce believe that it was early Feb that I met Gurudev for the first time. Since more than a month now, the weeks seem to be literally avalanching into one another. Each weekend has seen some major activity/event, etc. and all of it seems to be making way for the grandest event of all. For Pinch and I, it is the TTC that will crown the list of activities this year. Both of us have been wanting to do it since a while and finally, it’s warm Texas for Pinch and cold Montreal for me. We’ll ring in the New Year from different places this year and it feels as though there could have been neither a better ending to 2005 nor a better start to 2006. Who knows what the coming year will bring? A trip to India, a visit back home, trying so hard to quench that thirst, that constant desire to go back, to return, to meet again all the people who are dearest to me. Maybe a hiatus from work, a life-long dream of trekking up the Ganges? Or maybe an Advanced Course with Guruji at Hrishikesh? So many dreams and it feels so good to dream. No feverishness, no urgency – just that longing for more opportunities and the intense gratitude. Longing to do more seva, to make myself and my faculties more useful to all around me, to give of myself more. Intense gratitude for being so blessed. Can there be a greater blessing than being alive? Yes, meeting one’s Guru is a greater blessing. This year has been one filled with highs. Inexpressible highs, full of joy, simple and unadulterated. Strangest part being, this joy owes itself to nothing. I have caught myself feeling such immense happiness and typical of my nature, wondering where it came from. It has taken some time to realize this but the truth’s staring right back at me now – it is all inside of me and I can hardly wait to see what else is going to be unveiled in the coming years.

This is a time to say ‘Thanks’! Thanks to all of you, especially some of my older LJ-pals who have put up with so many of my grumbling and griping posts. All of you (Rileen, Deepti, Arun, Sonal, Dee, Radhika, Shri, Denz etc.) have seen the metamorphosis of my journal from last year. I began with a name I don’t recall, went on to ‘Searching for Shangrila’ and then finally ‘I am dancing at the feet of my Lord, all is bliss, all is bliss, all is bliss’. I began crying over a home that I had left behind, crying for people I missed hopelessly and now I am celebrating the mere moment. I spent days and nights wondering how and when the loneliness would end, the state of dependence, joblessness. Now I am so grateful to the very fact that I am so busy that I have no time to fret. I am waiting eagerly to go home, to meet my family but yet I am loving every moment that I am away from them. Thanks to all of my new found friends on LJ. It’s such a pleasure reading new journals, trying to know people through their writing. Thanks to every one of my real-life friends who have, in their own ways, reinforced all the lessons I learned during my Basic Course. Thanks to Pinch who has grown with me, perfectly in step, not missing a single beat, always around, by the side, behind, wherever he fits just right. Thanks to Gurudev for bringing me in touch with me. It is wonderful to know yourself and I have only Gurudev to thank for bringing me closer to my own self.

Wish you all a merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year! With love in our hearts, each year is only going to get better than the one that went by…:-)