It’s amazing how adaptable one can be. A few months back, I was having a completely lukhkha lifestyle, totally unaccountable, a million things to do, so so busy and almost independent. Now I seem to have gotten so immobile, so dependent… a far cry from the bachelorette…:)
My own money to spend, my credit cards, my office… And now, this house is all which seems to be the limits I have. Unemployed… Waiting for my husband to get home for lunch, get home in the evening, watch him leave in the morns… drift through the day waiting for things to happen… Well, grey is not that deep a shade as I paint it. There are consolations… I know.
Strangely I agree with ‘Pyar Tumhe Kis Mode Pe Le Aaya’… If not for pyaar, I’d have been independent, frustrated, bitter and employed…
I do enjoy the cooking experiments, the long hours I can finally spend watching TV! America does that to every young bride who lands in her airports, I think!
Irrespective of her status back home, when she reaches here, she does look around for her bearings, I think. I resent the way everything is convenient here, the amazing automation and ergonomic design in the smallest of objects, the way you can just reach out and find a million things that you can do… And damn, everyone expects you to be thankful for that!
Crap, if I argue that I am fine with Bombay and all her failures for only one reason that it will be home always.
I don’t owe anything to USA except that my husband is employed here. I cannot start considering this place as home and even if I live here and work here… it isn’t ever going to be the home that I enjoy. Hey, I know I am overreacting… I need this breather from the sensible, sober approach which tells me to take maximum advantage of this great country and go forth and do everything I want… and blame my indecisiveness on my own self.
deelight says:
Hey I can imagine what you’re going through…these are anxieties that I face at the prospect of marrying a guy who lives abroad.
But having said that…I think the place has amazing opportunities going by what I see and hear and Im sure in time you’d come to appreciate that place better, with all its ammenities and planning! You’ll sail through this girl!
February 6, 2004 — 11:16 pm
trycatchdenz says:
So wonderfully put…
Quite a few of my friends who have married and settled in the US have similar thoughts/ life styles… Don’t know now if that’s good or bad…
Perhaps a job would be a welcome change…
Cheerz,
Denz
February 7, 2004 — 1:15 am
nachiketj says:
Lakshmi !
First thing you got to do is stop posting so much on LJ !
February 7, 2004 — 7:08 am
Lakshmi says:
Re: Lakshmi !
Something wrong with that, Nachi?
In any case, I try to keep the spleen to a minimum…
February 7, 2004 — 7:38 am
nachiketj says:
Re: Lakshmi !
No… the post is very true and good but I’ve found that the act of writing down one’s feelings only serves to intensify them. There’s no catharsis in writing.
February 7, 2004 — 3:01 pm