A long time ago, I wrote a post making a strong case for marriage. Well, I am qualified to write/talk about marriage… but kids? No experience, I agree… but insights, I do have. Here is my inexperienced and somewhat intuitive take on why kids can be a good idea.
Parents are likely the most unselfish people on the planet. A somewhat easy way to experience unconditional love is to birth/raise a child (The other easy/difficult way is to attain enlightenment, I jest not). The child-parent relationship is beyond logic and reason. Parents can move mountains, walk through fire, swim across an ocean… give up their life for sake of their child. Yet these very parents sometimes become the most obnoxious individuals ever. They lose perspective completely… yes, on account of their little ones.
Part of the problem lies with conflating love and attachment. Attachment is binding and restrictive, while love is utterly freeing. Children cannot be bound to their parents against their will. That, in a nutshell, explains the parent’s dilemma. Learning to love without attachment is probably the lesson every parent has to learn.
(Read Gibran’s “On Children” where you can read a fluid and poetic version of my awfully clumsy and cumbersome explanation.)
Yet, children can be a medium for the lesson that Life wants parents to learn. To give without expectation, to understand the meaning of love, to let go – every second, again and again.
Children have the capacity to bring innocence and freshness into our lives. A parent gets the opportunity to view the world anew through the eyes of their child. Children can grant purpose and meaning to a dull, boring existence. They shake up the mundane/banal elements in a relationship.
And for those among us who are not parents? No fear, we get our lessons through other means.
Blessed I am that I have parents who have always granted me love, freedom, space and independence…