Conversation between a mother and her eight-year-old son:
Darling, we need to move our car because it is blocking Nimmi Aunty’s car.
Mom, who is Nimmi Aunty?
She is an Aunty who has just moved into the city. She is very beautiful.
A pretty innocuous and regular conversation, no? Right.
I think it’s all good too, except the “beautiful” part. Let me explain.
In my family, we are somewhat hair-obsessed. We notice hair all the time. As a child, I heard a lot of “Ooh, what lovely hair!” from my mother, aunt and cousins. So, it became obvious to me at a young age that good hair was golden for a woman. Straight or wavy, black or brown or grey, long or short… It didn’t matter. All you needed was lots of it, and you were set. Thus, the covetousness was born. Now, I am reasonably blessed in the hair department. But I always felt like it wasn’t enough. I remember praying earnestly, God, please give me 15% more hair on my head, just 15%.
I was naive enough to think that people with good hair had it set in life, and that losing hair (or having scanty hair) was a major misfortune. Yes, I was somewhat misguided.
As a student of communication (and life), I am fairly cautious about stating my opinions to young children and teenagers, especially when they revolve around beauty and attractiveness. The absolute last thing I wish to do is project my ideas on to their tender minds. I’d hate for them to take on my ideas as their own, consciously or not. If a youngster is sensitive, searching and impressionable, this becomes a real possibility.
No, I don’t want to create an impression on you. Neither do I want to lend you any of mine.
(Nimmi Aunty is truly a beautiful woman, I can vouch for that too.)
