Simply Being | Simple Being
… it feels like I have gained the whole world. Like a desolate wanderer finds a caravan, a welcoming light.
Fate brought you to me, please don't leave. Sometimes, the sky meets the earth. Yeah, miracles happen.
Drowning in that languorous voice, brooding and passionate. A night of solitude lends itself to strange moods. Cruising along, enjoying the feeling.
I have been asked this question at various times in my life. "What do you do all day long? Don't you get bored?" The first time it was after I arrived in the United States. Sans drivers license, sans a job. Good friends often asked me this question. They thought they were being sympathetic, maybe? In their minds, it must have been such a drag. Staying home all day long, watching TV, surfing the Internet, learning to cook, cleaning the house… and so on. These days I get asked this question since I work two days a week. Again the sympathetic look, the regretful tone.
I wonder how they'd react if I really told them about how I ENJOYED those days and how much I ENJOY these days.
It has become a notion (is it our generation?) to equate being busy with being productive and useful. Unless you are the kind who rushes in after a long day of work, tackles a kid (or two), dirty dishes, laundry and a hungry husband, works again late into the night, and has this perpetual "I am so busy" attitude, you are not regarded as being an efficient person. Or productive. Or making the best use of your abilities and time. Being busy and doing multiple projects is looked at as some kind of a badge of honor.
I wonder where this idea came from.
What's the lure of being perpetually busy and rushed? What's wrong with having a leisurely outlook to life and work? I, for one, regard these days of leisure and writing as far more productive than the 12-hour days I clocked in working in the IT industry. I didn't feel useful or productive or particularly accomplished then. (If you do, then all power to you. I am only stating my experience here.) These days, my idea of being productive is writing up a good post (or two), reading something interesting, cooking a new dish, taking pictures, being open to exploration and learning. I am not juggling a million commitments or handling a major cross-continental crisis at work – so what? I feel fulfilled, happy, contented.
My darling Mom worked as a school teacher for a large part of her life. She is retired now. I never saw her as rushed or overworked earlier, nor does she appear so now. Even when she was working full-time, raising the two of us (with much help from a doting husband and Dad, of course) and running the home, she found time to connect to people, enjoy her cup of tea with the newspapers, watch TV, read books, go to the movies, cook delicious food. Not once did she appear terribly busy, never did she seem like she was bored. Now that she's retired, she gets asked a lot "Aren't you bored?" Whenever she and Dad visit me (or my sister), she gets asked "Aren't you bored?"
Her answer is always "No, I never get bored." She simply finds her own rhythm, regardless of place and circumstance. She enjoys her work, so also her leisure.
A perfect recipe for a happy, fulfilled and productive existence.
Dedicated to Daddy, Pinch, Shailu, Thakur, Mandar, Sudeep, Shiv, Ashwin and many others who inspired me to write this post…
Stated below are the Little Boys Codes.
1. It does not matter if you live in my apartment complex or someplace else; you can play with me.
2. You may be older/younger in years to me but you are my 'dost.' (There is something oddly endearing about a little boy having a dost (or many). I guess this reflects on my Bombay upbringing that I tend to associate 'dost' more with Hindi films than with real life usage! Btw, 'dost' is Hindi for 'friend.')
3. We really don't need to talk much. Playing together is less complicated and a lot more fun.
4. It doesn't matter where your Dad works or what school you go to; we can play together anyway.
5. It is never too late or too early to go out and play.
6. A skinned knee/elbow hurts like hell, for the first five minutes. Just get back to the game, and it'll not hurt as much.
7. If you ask nicely, even the grumpiest neighbor will offer you a glass of water at the end of a long and sweaty day of play.
8. There is a place for everyone on the team.
Sad to say, a lot of little boys outgrow these codes. Thankfully, I know many who follow these faithfully… and the world is a lot nicer for that.
…
Of late, it seems to me that there is this awful hostility brandished between people with different food preferences. You see it a lot on Twitter, and frankly, I don’t get it.
Allow me to present my lack of understanding in context of where I come from – India.
Home to a billion (and more) people, India is a study in contradictions. If my facts serve me right, there are 32 official states in the country, and each one has its unique history, culture, literature, language, customs, folklore, cuisine and cuss words! India’s astounding diversity of population and culture blows my mind every time I ponder over it. Needless to say, most foreign visitors are astounded when they arrive, and they leave exhausted, enthralled, charmed.
Food choices? Don’t even get me started! There is a significant Hindu population in India that is staunchly vegetarian. By the way, in India, ‘vegetarian’ never includes fish. It does not even include eggs. Some Hindus may eat meat and fish but abstain from beef. Then there are others who will eat fish but will not consume any other meat products. The Jains are strictly vegetarian but they have additional guidelines. They don’t eat root vegetables, onion or garlic. Then there is the Muslim community that eats meat but abstains from pork. Folks belonging to the Sikh community may consume meat but they will not serve it during weddings and other auspicious occasions. On the other hand, the Bengali community is one where a baby’s first solid morsel of food is most likely a piece of cooked fish. During the monsoon month of Shravan, many people abstain from meat products. I believe that there is a religious reason for it although I am told that it’s the fish spawning season as well, making it an unsuitable time to consume seafood anyway.
See what I said about India and contradictions? Maybe I am ignorant but I am yet to come across any name calling or hostility or violence in the name of vegetarianism or veganism in India. Diversity in food choice is simply part of the greater diversity that exists in India. Then why fight over it? In any case, it is a personal decision. The consequence of your choice, food related and otherwise, will catch up with you eventually. Today, tomorrow, ten years later, or in a subsequent life time. It is just how Karma operates.
Besides, if being a vegetarian/vegan is really about practising non-violence, then where is the question of anger or hostility? Isn’t that a form of violence?
Soup for the Soul
As I said, it is weird. And completely unnecessary.