The Rich Vegetarian

An Examined Life

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Tag: guruji (page 1 of 2)

Times we miss

Times we miss, even if we were never present in the first place. Days we wish we could have lived through – so what if they only transpired in our heads? Places we always saw ourselves in – in dreams, fantasies, and elaborately constructed plots and subplots with fantastic co-characters. Clothes I always saw myself wearing – sarees, flowers, jewelry. The presence I always want to be part of – and am part of even if I scarcely realize it, most of the time.

That’s my lame lament at having missed the spectacular Navaratri celebrations at the Bangalore Ashram this year. And last year, and the year before. And every year that I remember. Well, there will be another year. Another Navaratri. The Ashram. My most awesome Guruji.

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Love and Respect

That was the title of the tape we viewed today from the Narada Bhakti Sutras commentary delivered by Guruji. He spoke about the delicate balance between love and respect that plays out in a healthy relationship. When you love someone dearly, and are intimate with that person, there is a possibility of losing respect. Pretty soon, love flies out of the window as well. How to maintain the beauty of a relationship is determined by how well you navigate between love and respect. Another aspect is that of space or distance. Respect demands a certain amount of distance and love can stand no distance. Then how can the two co-exist? And yet their coexistence is vital to the health of a relationship.

All of the above is based on my understanding of the tape we watched this morning. Someone asked me over chat recently, “Why is your marriage happy?” The question came from a young friend who had just come out of a messy relationship. I said something to the effect that our marriage was happy (sorry, IS happy and thank God for that!) simply because our focus is not on each other. Instead, our attention is focussed on knowledge, Seva, Guruji… and moving on the spiritual path. We don’t seek to discover each other; instead we seek to realize our own self. And when you dive into the depth of your own being and experience its purity and brilliance, you are changed beyond any kind of explanation. That change simply translates into a sense of happiness that never leaves you, a feeling of immense gratitude, and a desire to share – share the joy, the knowledge, the experience. Plus when you are so happy and fulfilled from within, how can you prevent the joy from spilling forth in your relationships? Love colors everything it comes in contact with – spares no one!

In a unique way, Pinch and I are close to each other, and yet there is space between the two of us. We are not looking at each other but we are definitely looking in the same direction.

Guruji mentioned something about this in his inimitable way. I’ll try to paraphrase what he said. He likened a healthy marriage to two parallel lines. They would be together until infinity as opposed to two lines that move towards each other, meet at a point, and then go their different ways. What a fabulous way to explain the point – once again, I am bowled over by my Guru’s brilliance… 🙂

To be a Karmayogi…

… is not simple. There is no escape from action, as Guruji puts it so aptly in his tape Contradictions in the Bhagavad Gita. And yet it is futile to keep your eyes on the result of the action. Do and let go, do and let go, do and let go… Another line by Guruji comes to mind, “If you’re focussed on the result, your action becomes weak.” Oh, it’s so difficult for me to even express an iota of my wonderment, of how much I am amazed by the beauty of the point. Many a time, I have felt that I want to go away – want to retreat someplace, want to get away from all that needs to be done. As if true joy and enlightenment can be found in the wilderness. I am sure that it can be found – and people have found it. But, as time goes by, I am more and more convinced that my path is here. In this world, among the people I love and possibly not love so much. Among the situations that test my nerve and the ones that make me fly. Among the bliss and the dumps, among Guruji and the other enlightened ones.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

When my dearest Guru is doing all this work, day and night, with the most benevolent smile on his graceful countenance, how can I complain? How can I run away – how can I sleep? That he is giving me a chance to be a part of his glorious work is itself such a blessing.

Oh, I am tired and spent of this mind – I am ready to throw in my towel and scram – I wish I didn’t have to do all this – but I am here to stay!