Yesterday, I chanced on an episode of Oprah. The show featured a young Afro-American woman, apparently in her early 30’s. She had been raped by her father at the age of 13 and had delivered a baby girl when she turned 14. She described how her parents dropped her off at the hospital when her due date arrived and braving snide remarks (‘God, you’re 14! How did you do this?’) from the hospital staff, she delivered her baby girl all by herself, without telling anyone her shameful secret. The child was born with complications and she suffered a lot of health problems in her early childhood. Now a grown woman, in her early 20s, she was present on the show too and she recounted how her body used to harbour calcium deposits in form of tumours and they had to be surgically removed every time. Doctors had said that her kidneys would fail sometime in life definitely because her body was unable to dispose calcium. And all this because of some *gene mishap* caused on account of her grandfather being her father. It was disturbing, to say the least.
Another woman recounted how she was raped by her grandfather from the tender age of 5 till she was 13. That b&^#%$* didn’t spare a single woman from the family.
Oprah, as she recounted her own tale of child molestation, mentioned that in USA, sexual intercourse between a man and a woman, however young the woman may be, is still termed as a *sexual act* and not molestation unless the act involves a young boy, in which case it is termed *sodomy*. The theory, supposedly is, *it* was due to happen some day or the other, anyway. Nothing abnormal about it. A sexual offender, in case the victim is a female, can actually get away with as less as 6 months of imprisonment.
God…. you can never protect your children enough.
arunshanbhag says:
OMG! this gives me the shivers!
October 22, 2004 — 7:28 am
Lakshmi says:
Seriously! I didn’t really believe that anybody is born *bad* but I don’t think any kind of external influence could have made a man as depraved… This is a true pervert.
October 22, 2004 — 7:34 am
vasanth says:
hey laksh, you know in Patna recently there was a guy who was arrested for a similar reason. The father repeatedly had sex with his own daughter and has borne 4 children through her. The guy is a doctor ( gosh!! )
and his wife kept quiet over the whole episode. and the daughter understood that this is what fathers do and quietly conceded to every ‘need’ of her father.
it is surprising though that sitting in India, America, that has more educated people than here, seems more advanced but to know that this is a normal happening there itself is really even more disgusting.
October 22, 2004 — 7:43 am
Lakshmi says:
It isn’t a normal occurrence anywhere, Vasanth. Sometimes I feel that education can only do so much in preventing acts of this kind because there’re so many cases of well-educated women stuck in such self-destructive relationships…It has to do with something else. A well-knit family, mutual respect and a strong sense of self-worth. All that education can’t really provide, can it?
October 22, 2004 — 7:51 am
vasanth says:
i agree to that. but what i am saying is education is just taking us one step forward, and definitely not a solution. The only solution to this is like what the Saudis do 50 lashes with the cane in public or stoning to death. These offenders must be tortured as a punishment. Only then there will be fear in people and such crimes will subside.
( wrong example to this illustration but am just talking about their punishments for crimes like drug offences )
October 22, 2004 — 9:17 am
Lakshmi says:
I guess we can hope that education takes us a step closer to some kind of emancipation in this case.
Wrong example…:-) I got what you meant, though…
October 22, 2004 — 10:50 am
vasanth says:
🙂
October 22, 2004 — 10:58 am
parag says:
These bastards are perfect candicates for making a case for death penalty and its application to non-murder crimes.
October 22, 2004 — 7:53 am
Lakshmi says:
Sometimes I feel that too. But then the old argument comes back, ‘How can a civilised society live upto its name if it treats criminals with such unforgiveness and does not allow them to mend their ways?’
October 22, 2004 — 7:55 am
fugney says:
mend their ways
I wouldn’t think paedophiles are capable of that….
October 22, 2004 — 8:49 am
tomlinsonian says:
am with you
for whatever its worth..
October 23, 2004 — 3:11 am
tomlinsonian says:
Re: am with you
I’m with parag that is.
October 23, 2004 — 3:15 am
fugney says:
the other, anyway. Nothing abnormal about it.
WHAT??!!
October 22, 2004 — 8:50 am
splitpeasoup says:
Oprah is full of it. Any sexual intercourse where one party is a minor is termed *statutory rape*.
In the US, it’s not about protecting your children from other people, it’s about protecting your children from yourself… most perpetrators are themselves the parents or close relatives of the children.
October 22, 2004 — 9:07 am
gotjanx says:
Second this. Statutory rape (state law, I believe) includes minors of both sexes.
October 22, 2004 — 10:28 am
Lakshmi says:
So it is an offence, right? One that deserves a harsh punishment?
October 22, 2004 — 10:52 am
Lakshmi says:
Well, it isn’t just in the USA. Such weirdos exist all over.
October 22, 2004 — 10:51 am
splitpeasoup says:
In India, IIRC, most child sexual abuse occurs among street children, and the perps are most often themselves older street children. The other big problem in India is child prostitution and trafficking, which is very rare in the US. At any rate, incest does not comprise the majority of child abuse incidents in India the way it does in the US.
October 22, 2004 — 10:58 am
Lakshmi says:
I am not sure about statistics but from what I read, I figured that the perpetrators, in many cases of child abuse, end up being some kind of an acquaintance/relative/neighbour. Cases of incest may be far lesser, I can’t say for sure. Just to theorize that such weirdos can exist anywhere.
October 22, 2004 — 11:04 am
hollowandempty says:
That’s fucking ridiculous! That just breaks my heart.
October 22, 2004 — 9:41 am
nithya says:
no we dont need to hang them.. just castrate these bastards and let them live/die that way..
October 22, 2004 — 10:06 am
splitpeasoup says:
The comments to this thread are almost as troubling as the crime itself. People are so eager to lynch wrong-doers! It is a socially approved kind of violence.
October 22, 2004 — 11:00 am
Lakshmi says:
Yes… The *eye for an eye* idea seems to be highly popular. Unlike what the Mahatma felt…
October 22, 2004 — 11:05 am
parag says:
*writes a comment about Mahatma and deletes it*
Pedophiles commiting rapes repeatedly is not a petty crime. In my opinion, it is worse than murdering someone. They are taking advantage of an innocent child that trusts them completely. You can teach a thief another way to make a living and maybe he won’t steal again. But, these criminals should be punished harshly. Some of them donot deserve to live their lives. Plain and simple. There is no way to teach them how to better themselves and live a better life.
October 22, 2004 — 11:35 am
splitpeasoup says:
It’s hard for me to agree with you. Do I actually know anything about the rate of recidivism in sex offenders? Or the effects of rehabilitation vs retribution? Or the circumstances that lead to sex abuse? Or the backgrounds of the people that commit these crimes? No. No. No. No.
So I can’t form a strong opinion on the matter based merely on my own preconceived notions. Apparently it doesn’t stop other people though.
October 22, 2004 — 11:52 am
parag says:
I don’t know if you are a parent. But, when you become one and hold that precious little life that completely depends on you for everything, in your hands, I am confidant that you’ll be able to form your own opinion, with or without answers to all the questions that you posed.
October 22, 2004 — 11:58 am
Lakshmi says:
Your statement reminds me of that line from Monsoon Wedding, delivered by Naseer, “I’ll protect them from myself if I have to…” That was something poignant.
October 22, 2004 — 12:08 pm
radhika74 says:
yeah..it was…and the way naseer says it..brought a lump to my throat..what an actor!!
October 22, 2004 — 7:05 pm
deelight says:
Agree totally.
October 24, 2004 — 5:55 am
99kanitas says:
i agree
October 24, 2004 — 3:56 pm
ishtyle says:
.. makes the term “human civilisation” seem like an oxymoron, a ridiculous irony doesn’t it? Not that I’m saying entire civilisations are depraved.. but just knowing how sick some individuals can be makes me afraid of literally everything. Got some lines from Yeats’ “The Second Coming” .. that came to my mind upon reading your post.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
October 22, 2004 — 12:24 pm
Lakshmi says:
Thanks for sharing the poem. It sounds great!
October 22, 2004 — 12:34 pm
roopa1978 says:
For all that I complain about,I’m glad I come from a world where relationships are more sacred. It is so sad when you cannot trust your family.
A college mate who was in the hostel here used to try and avoid going home on weekends, because of her grandfather. He used to feel her up, and there is nothing she could do about it. And because her family didn’t believe her, she ended up blaming herself for the perverted old man.
I guess when such acts are committed within the confines of a family,people turn a blind eye because they don’t want to admit to themselves that thsi is happening to their family.
It is scary!
October 22, 2004 — 9:32 pm
deelight says:
Gosh, no wonder I’m don’t want kids. Imagine bringing them up in this disgusting world. I’d end up being a neurotic.
October 24, 2004 — 5:50 am