The Rich Vegetarian

An Examined Life

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Tag: self (page 1 of 3)

Turning 38

And that’s it… I am firmly ensconced in the late 30s.

How did it come to this so darned soon? When Mummy was 38, she had a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old. Two bright-eyed girls, straight black hair, serious and sincere and shy and outspoken (if that is even a legit combination). One of them is a successful professional, skilled and charming, cute and capable. She wins the hearts of almost everyone she meets.

The other? She is still wondering what she wants to be when she grows up.

Well, I have grown old without growing up. Or so it seems.

Wisdom doesn’t exactly announce its arrival. It kinda creeps into your life, hiding beneath silent conversations, endless ruminations, failed projects and relationships and tears and triumphs. You focus on the fireworks, not noticing that there is a solid line of grey developing within your core. Ahh, there it is.

Sometimes I feel like I am running (or walking) with a million things hanging off me. And it is a struggle, holding them all in, explaining their presence to others — half-emabarassed, half-proud.

Perhaps, 38 will be the age when I own all my belongings, no explanations or justifications needed.

This is it, this is me. Equal parts lost and found, curious and detached, imaginative and shy and introverted.

Happy and grateful for health, hair, bones, fire, hunger, love, food and everything else.

No Influence

Over the years, it has become clear to me that I have little to no influence on anyone except myself. In a direct way, that is.

I may be in conversation with a friend, a parent, a sibling… and the topic turns to health or fitness. I might have something meaningful to contribute too. But it seems like all my useful/helpful advice hits a stone wall, and that is the beginning/end of it. Personal autonomy is terribly important, and understanding the seemingly immovable nature of another’s opinion makes you sweat less.

Yes, it would be really beneficial to consult a naturopath, or rub warm castor oil on your sore shoulder, or reduce carb intake, or start on a routine of Sun Salutations, or… Yes, it would be helpful. But you think about it, make your own choice.