The Rich Vegetarian

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Tag: projection (page 1 of 1)

March 29, 2023 / 0 Comments

Maps & Stories

I see the irony in writing a post about storytelling. 😆

Several years ago there was a series of incidents that I can term “dramatic,” and that’s because I am now telling the story. At the time these events were transpiring, it was anything but. We were simply responding to what was happening as it occurred in the moment, and there was no experience of drama as such.

A crazy car accident (the police officer remarked, you should buy a lottery ticket), an expired drivers license, a house break-in and all jewelry lost… all in a week. Pretty dramatic, I know! 😄

Most of us live largely in the world of stories. We share them endlessly, and we take them as truth. “A map is not the territory,” said Alfred Korzybski. Similarly, a story is a mere retelling, and it isn’t even an accurate one. Plus, we aren’t always storytellers with integrity. We edit and manipulate the storyline (sometimes, unknowingly), and we take it as truth, and we convince others, also.

Truth is accessed only in the present moment. Everything else is a story. When we are fully present, there is no space/time for story creation. The mind exists as a faithful ally, willing and able to serve fully.

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March 22, 2023 / 0 Comments

This Time Tomorrow

I just read this book that was about time travel but then it was also a book about aging, caring for a dying parent who was young, vibrant, filled with joy, oozing creativity, and then this endless, repetitive effort to go back in time and tell that person, don’t smoke! Eat healthy! Don’t eat meat! Please go jogging… and so on, all in the hopes of averting a future in hospice, and yet the woman at the center of all this sees so clearly that Time Does Not Miss, and she took one winding path after another, going to sleep each night at the same spot, and waking up elsewhere each time, and yet all paths led to the hospital, hospice care—no smoking, be damned. And this makes me all wonder about time, and whoever said that it’s an arrow—do we need clarification—because an arrow has direction, right? And in this story, so you’d think, and yet I am reminded also of something someone said about directionless time, and yes, all this likely comes across as gibberish, or newbie fan gibberish, coming from someone who’s read about time travel for the first time, hehe… but make no mistake about it, for I Have Spent A Lot Of Time thinking about Time, and it’s probably funny… for, didn’t someone say that they contemplated the nature of reality only to realize that it didn’t exist? If all this science fiction-time-reality talk feels terribly weird as it emerges from the mind of this 44-year-old (really, now?), make no mistake, yet again… for this 44-year-old is herself stuck in the strangest of time warps, and ALL of it is her own creation, a web she spun herself, for the love and fun and joy of it all.

(Thank you for reading.)

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August 19, 2017 / 0 Comments

Projecting “Beautiful” Ideas

Conversation between a mother and her eight-year-old son:

Darling, we need to move our car because it is blocking Nimmi Aunty’s car.

Mom, who is Nimmi Aunty?

She is an Aunty who has just moved into the city. She is very beautiful.

A pretty innocuous and regular conversation, no? Right.

I think it’s all good too, except the “beautiful” part. Let me explain.

In my family, we are somewhat hair-obsessed. We notice hair all the time. As a child, I heard a lot of “Ooh, what lovely hair!” from my mother, aunt and cousins. So, it became obvious to me at a young age that good hair was golden for a woman. Straight or wavy, black or brown or grey, long or short… It didn’t matter. All you needed was lots of it, and you were set. Thus, the covetousness was born. Now, I am reasonably blessed in the hair department. But I always felt like it wasn’t enough. I remember praying earnestly, God, please give me 15% more hair on my head, just 15%.

I was naive enough to think that people with good hair had it set in life, and that losing hair (or having scanty hair) was a major misfortune. Yes, I was somewhat misguided.

As a student of communication (and life), I am fairly cautious about stating my opinions to young children and teenagers, especially when they revolve around beauty and attractiveness. The absolute last thing I wish to do is project my ideas on to their tender minds. I’d hate for them to take on my ideas as their own, consciously or not. If a youngster is sensitive, searching and impressionable, this becomes a real possibility.

No, I don’t want to create an impression on you. Neither do I want to lend you any of mine.

(Nimmi Aunty is truly a beautiful woman, I can vouch for that too.)

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July 15, 2017 / 1 Comment

Actors and Projection

(Derived somewhat from an old post dated October 2012)

“Kaun Banega Crorepati,” India’s version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” was/is a popular show. The host Amitabh Bachchan would ask contestants what they’d do with the prize money they earned. Many men would respond quick, Go on a date with Aishwarya Rai. These were the days before Ms Rai became Mrs. Rai Bachchan. Anyway, Amitabh Bachchan would laugh lightly, then move on to other questions. The Aishwarya Rai answer was so darned common, it almost felt de rigueur. I never gave it a second thought. Everyone was joking, of course.

One day, my father (after hearing another contestant give the same answer) remarked, “Is Aishwarya Rai a prostitute that she’d go with anyone who is rich?”

He said it without any anger or annoyance, perhaps a trace of irony. It was a simple question, a rhetorical one. It made me stop and think. It hadn’t even occurred to me to think this way. With my complicity in this stupid joke about a game show winner going on a date with Ms. World, I had, like many others, bought into the “commodification” of Aishwarya Rai.

And then there is this.

One of my favorite films, a scene that is tough and unpleasant to watch for me.

Actors know all about projection. After all, they are constantly being projected upon. That is their job. The most talented actors function as blank slates, all the better for a director to project their vision on to.

And of course, projection is the way of this world. We are constantly foisting our dreams, expectations, fears, etc. on people around us. Actors aren’t exempt from this even though we don’t share physical space with them on a daily basis. They are projected upon, both on screen and off-screen.

And that’s how you land up with arrogant men who think that a female actor is a prostitute, AND the others who stand in deep awe of the personality, wanting to own her.

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