M is a dynamic individual, bursting with ideas and optimism. M could be termed an evangelist of sorts, because they want to infect others with their ideas. They genuinely believe in the beauty and efficacy of their plans, how it all makes perfect sense… and that all I need to do is say Yes.
(Do you know this person too?)
You cannot but be charmed by this individual. And that includes me as well.
I thought it was the sheer energy, their boundless enthusiasm and good cheer. Then a less flattering (and more truthful, perhaps?) idea dawned.
Maybe I was gravitating to this person simply because they were paying me attention. And lots of it, undivided and dedicated.
Maybe I craved attention secretly, and then pretended that I couldn’t stand it? Was I a total hypocrite?
Maybe not. These traits play out below the surface, and some kind of training (awareness, introspection) is required before you can even detect their presence. All I can do is pay attention myself to these hidden dynamics, be gentle on myself, breathe out and let go.