Endlessly Still and Dynamic

Endlessly Still and Dynamic

It feels as though I am in search. It seems like a journey that a young person (what is “young,” exactly?) embarks on. Self-discovery, new places, a search for an unknown space, seeking to pacify an itch that refuses to go away… Do all coming-of-age tales begin this way?

Hey, I started on the trip many years ago. So, where have I reached? Do I know myself better? Probably. But it’s like trying to grab hold of sunlight or a wisp of air. Or cotton. I am in this alone, and that feels perfectly good to me. P and I are partners on this trail. We are walking together. Not really, either. It is like we are looking out for each other but each one has his/her eyes on the trail that lies right ahead. Solo traveling as a couple – does that make sense?

Yet, it feels good. The itch persists but it does not bother me. I do wonder, though… if it will ever go away. Maybe when I exhale for the last time… or maybe earlier. Every moment feels like I am unraveling another possibility. The sameness is comforting but I also dream that it will underlie the varying landscapes. Where do I go from here?